Siiiilly bits

Just silly bits n bobs from a 'useless' aerobics work out film we made titled "Keep fit for FITTIES" It was a completely unrehearsed video!! We did this on Tuesday for a YSA activity :):)

Hacked off!!

Time and time again I vow to NEVER under any circumstances allow myself to cut my hair! It only ends in tears every single time. I know this only too well. And yet, I ALWAYS go back on this vow and mutilate my locks!!!

The first time I attempted to snip away at my hair, I was too cocky. I thought, how hard can this possibly be? I have watched hairdressers in the salons do it hundreds of times!! Surely, that is all the training I needed?! WRONG, WRONG AND WRONG!!! I was not a jolly Molly with my handiwork on that occasion. The trouble is when you get scissor spirited you tend to get a tad carried away. Here, a snip, there a snip - snip, snip, snippedy doo dah!! It brings out the Edward Scissorhands in me :) (LOVE LOVE LOVE that film by the way)

I guess some people are just blessed with "the knack." I am not. Even setting out to do a simple trim - things get a bit 'hairy' .. please forgive my lame attempts at comedy! Like most things it all starts out just peachy but then disaster strikes!!!! Whoopsy daisy you hack off a chunk much larger than you had anticipated :( Which means you have to cut more off in the hopes of salvaging the mess you are making. Inevitably this then leads to a HORRENDOUS HAIR DON'T!! I have had more than my fair share of these.

I have gone back on my vow many, many times and regretted it the instant I complete the task. Last night (actually the early hours of this morning) was no exception to the same sorry story. I looked in the mirror and moped at the pitiful condition of my coiffure. I had been meaning to do something about it for a few weeks but just didn't get round to it. Now you may be thinking to yourself (or asking aloud if you are a bit of a nut job like me!) WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST GO TO A HAIRDRESSER??? Answer: That is too easy! And Rianne is known for making life more complicated for herself than it ought to be. If there is a straightforward way to do something and a difficult, troublesome, stressful, STUPID method for it too - you can guarantee I will select the STUPID path every time. (Yes, this does make me an idiot. It is the way I am wired!!) Also, I am not being miserly but I think the cost of haircuts in England is horrendous so I prefer to save myself these pennies.

As I was snipping away I actually believed I was doing a fine job for ONCE!!! When I had finished I even liked it. It was even and (what deceptively appeared to be) perfectly layered and just exactly how I wanted my hair to be. Pixie sticks! It was all too good to be true. For when my hair had dried, it was horrifying short! Not boy-short but shorter than my hair should ever be. Not only did it become a bob but a crooked, wonky one at that!! I did as much damage control as possible but I still look like I have gone ten rounds with a lawn mower!!!!

A WORD TO THE WISE: (But if you are wise then you already know this, so it's more a word to the foolish) When you are cutting wet hair the length appears longer than it will be when it dries!!! So if you are trimming your own hair or someone else's judge it carefully so that you don't annihilate your hair do! Better still, just splash out on a professional haircut. One that won't break the bank and won't make you look like a scarecrow!

When I am feeling brave enough, I may put up before and after pictures. Don't hold your breath!

Oh!! The stupidest incident AFTER my hair horrors was as follows: Trying to salvage my 'do by straightening it. It did make it look a teeny bit nicer. Although, on account of my tiredness I moronically placed the straighteners on top of a plastic bag while I went to brush my teeth. When I returned the bag had melted into a pink pile of gloop and encrusted plastic gunk all over the straighteners (which in fact belong to my perfectly Goldilocks-haired little sister!!) Uh-oh! I'm in big trouble!

Love love love

I wanted to follow up my last blog post with a more positive one about love (since it was Valentine's Day yesterday!!) I am not even going to dwell on the fact that yesterday was the 25th Valentine's Day I have been single on. I am not even going to mention how lonely I am either (well, after typing it just then obviously!)

A lot of lonely hearted singletons always deem Valentine's as a fantastically depressing day. It doesn't have to be that way!! I am of the opinion that the holiday was not created to make the unmarried and un-taken lads and ladies feel depressed, wretched or self-pitying! (although that seems to happen year after year)

It should be a celebration of l'amour, amore, die Liebe, LOVE!! <3 You do not have to be "in love" with somebody to participate in the celebrations. We all LOVE someone - our friends, our families, pets ... or something like your car or Nintendo Wii if you don't actually know any mortals! I hope you all took the time to express your love to the people that you do love :)

My heart was filled with an overwhelming sense of love last night. Unlike anything I have ever felt before. It was all consuming, pure and real. It even resembled something close to charity 'the pure love of Christ.' I thought about hundreds of different dear friends that I cherish and the impact they have had on my own life. Most of them live many, many miles away from me and we are separated by oceans or simply life getting in the way. I longed to give every single person a hug and if it were physically and financially possible I would have done.

Consider this that hug from me!! :) :) I wish it were real but this is as close as I can get to that right now. I am so thankful to have known and loved you all. My love will not stop. I think of you all constantly. Love is 'like oxygen' it keeps me alive and what's more it makes life WORTH living. My heart ached deeply as I thought of all my wonderful friends - particularly the ones I do not get to see very much. (If only I could see you everyday I would!!) I sobbed into my pillow because I miss each and every one of you more and more each day.

I want EVERYONE in the world to know that there is ALWAYS someone who loves you unconditionally. This man treasures you. He loved you even before you took your first breath and he will love you even after you take your last. He will love you for ETERNITY! And what's even more incredible is that - there is nothing that you can do or say to make him STOP. He is Heavenly Father and you are his literal offspring! We are all a child of God. If this is not something to celebrate everyday or to rejoice in .. I don't know what is. God is LOVE and that is the best and most true kind of love there is.

Love STINKS

A silly poem we made at Institute last week! We don't really think these things :)

Romance is dead. Never will we wed.
"Til death do us part. Forever in my heart"
These words make us sick. They are taking the mick.
Most men are cruel. And treat you like fools.
Don't believe their lies. Evil inhabits their eyes.
Forget 'happily ever after.' It just ends in disaster.
So when a guy winks, remember: LOVE STINKS!!!

Journal Jewels - from an 8 year old me

These are some little quotes from my very first journal that made me giggle and I hope that they will put a smile on your dials too :) :) I have always been an avid writer from a young age. At school I used to write the longest stories in the whole school as extra homework. I was so smug when my teacher would read them sometimes instead of storytime!!

I'm not going to type up entire entries just selections (and I will spell the way I did in my journal and not correct bad grammar or punctuation!) and if I feel the need to elaborate on something I will write it in bold

Friday 19th November 1993 -

Today was not only my 8th birthday but baptism day also.... I was scared when I got in the water daddy said it was cold. So I started to cry. But it was alright after a while and daddy baptized me. It was very quick and I enjoyed it.

Saturday 8th January 1994 -

On Friday in the middle of the night mummys waters broke (( I doubt I knew then what that actually meant!!)) So in the morning When I got up it was odd for me because I heard nannys voice... It was lunchtime we had salad. When we had finished daddy phoned up again to say that we had a baby brother called Jozef richard and was 9lbs 1 oz. Then we went to see them at the hospital. Jozef had fair hair and dark blue eyes. After we had seen him we went home to bed and did our prayers. Saying yipee.

Saturday 5th march -

I went to see aladdin at cinema it was quite good... Jasmine pretened to love Javar And kissed him on the lips. ( (Scandalous!! Was that the first time I had seen kissing in a film??))

Tuesday 8th march -

Jozef is two months old at 12 o clock ( (I was so specific!!) ) I'm really pleased that Jozef is my brother. I love him very much. I wish there was brothers day and sisters day.

Thursday 10th march -

I read a book called the swan and the geese. I'm glad the cook didn't chop the swan. ( how was I GLAD after my swan ordeal when I was two??!)

Wednesday 16th march -

Louise came round her name means to me Princess Louise. She is a lovely girl and my best friend ever and in the whole wide world too.

Friday 18th march -

I like watching videos and films its my hobbie I love them. I just wish I had all the videos in the world but thats greedy.

Monday 21st march -

We had f.h.e that stands for family home evening I think if I explained, my friends would do it too.

Wednesday 23rd march -

watched the jewel of the nile it was excellent I loved it anyone would of if they watched the great thing. Loved it all.

Sunday 27th march -

It was Jozefs blessing day as well as church. When I was in my primary class mum came in to ask if I wan't to go home. Yes I said.

Wednesday 30th march -

In the night when jamie was awake he said I'm the fat man to amy and jumped over her head and banged it. He's not allowed to watch weastling. ( Haaa, I guess I meant wrestling. Jamie used to love it! My family laughed so hard when I reminded them of this tonight) )

Friday 8th april -

I played cluedo with mum and jamie it was so much fun that we begged for three go''s So thats what we got.

Sunday 10th april -

We went to church I enjoy going to sing to pray and to think of Jesus. I also like after primary to Play with my nice friends.

Monday 18th april -

grandads birthday we went to the beefeaters. We had a very big dinner. I was very very very fat indeed the icecream was nice.

Wednesday 20th april -

Louise told me the good news I'm joining brown-ies next tuesday. I want to do what Louise doe's she my best friend in the world.

Saturday 23rd april -

It was the music festival I sang doe a deer but I didn't know when to start and I didn't have a costume. Thats probably why I was bronze. ( Not that I was RUBBISH then?!)

Wednesday 27th april -

Amy came up with a rash I didn't like the look of it and the calamine lotion stinks but I like the smell ( I was contradicting myself even at 8 years of age)

Thursday 28th april -

Dad found a wasps nest outside our shed when dad was clearing it so there was space for a new cupboard. I said lets kill them. ( What a sadistic child!!)

Wednesday 4th may -

Leanne teased me today she made sure everyone could hear but miss and said to Louise your my bestest friend in the whole world. Everyone felt left out.

Saturday 14th may -

I watched you've been framed it was very funny but hurt the people.

Friday 15th July -

Last night I had a very good dream. I met Louise on the way home from school. She said why are you coming home this way. Because I have moved house. I live over the road from you.

I went in, inside you come into a big green room. It is a jumping room ( a room just for JUMPING?? I actually want one of those when I get my own place!) My friends live there as well. We have a very big garden with lots of flowers.

We have a very big dog called corky he bites but it dosen't hurt. Sometimes we ride our bikes to the stables we leave them there and they fly back to our house. My horse flys over the rooftops.

Then I went to the ice cream shop and brought one then I woke up.

Friday 22nd July -

We played follow my leader. I was the leader whatever I did and said and went. They did it too. ( I was such a bossy boots!)Then we played knee. Someone is mum they sit on a comfortable chair. then there's one person who is naughty. Whenever this person does something naughty you say knee. Then they have to bend down and you smack them. It was fun. ( Where did we learn this from?
)

Friday 29th July -

Grandad came around. He brought us are tea. It was chips and diet tango for a treat. It didn't make us fat the tango. It was a lovely treat.

Sunday 31st July -

Amy played kiss chase with tristan, she kissed him tons of times. He kissed her on the lips. We had to go home then. ( Haaa, Amy was only 3!! Tristan was her first kiss :) Sorry to embarrass you Amy!)

Tuesday 9th august -

I found a shell it was big but I dropped it because there was a spider in it. I asked Peter to wash it out. So he did.

Tuesday 16th august -

We went to Southsea. At first we went to the pond. With a fishing net. I said mum we need a ham sandwich to catch crabs and fish. Mum wouldn't let me.

Friday 2nd September -

Went to west wittering today. Tried to catch some fish but the shrimps did't agree. So I went out on the boat on the waves it made me go fast it was fun. So dad waited for a big wave to come then let me go the wave turned the boat upside down. I was under the sea for ages a lot of water (salty) went in my mouth.

When I finally got out of the water I gave dad a kick and he got soaked. Then I ran to mum to tell her what happened ( What a snitch! ) She said Rianne likes the water and now your making her hate it. ( To this day I have quite a fear of being in water. I wonder if this is where the fear initally stemmed from)

Tuesday 6th September -

On this particular day I realized I had to be brave. Met my new teacher Christy Beaumont she is very pretty. Barrie keeps writing love letters to her. Barrie and Richard are the teachers pet. At the end of the day I felt really sensible brave and responsible and a bit older.

Hope some of these made you chuckle or brightened your day! :) Look through your old journals - it is so much fun to relive past memories from your childhood. My family have enjoyed me reminding them of all these silly little anecdotes too. I am digging up more of my journals so look out for more crazy tales from my past. As I get in my teens things become more juicy ;)

Swans - my sworn enemies

DISCLAIMER: This blog is not written to cause any animal lovers distress. So if you are easily offended then AVERT YOUR EYEBALLS NOW! Although, if you have an amour for or affinity with SWANS I would question your sanity!!

My phobia for swans is not an unfounded fear. It is real. It is all consuming. They frequent my nightmares. Even pictures of the brutes fill me with trepidation. It all started a loooooong time ago, when I was just a gentle, 'butter-wouldn't-melt-in-my-mouth' toddler. My family would often go to feed the ducks at the park. I'm sure it was something I even LIKED to do maybe even loved. BEFORE .. that is.

I don't remember much about the befores and afters of my ordeal. (And I do not call it ordeal lightly. This really has scarred me for life or longer.)All I remember is waddling over to a swan completely unoblivious to the aggressive nature and sheer power of the 'pretty ducky' I didn't have any bread left but I thought the swan may be hungry (so you should note that what I am about to tell you I did out of good intentions) and with that I produced a sticker out of my pocket. The menacing monster was watching my every move. I prised open it's beak and tried to shove the sticker in .. out of what I thought was the kindness of my heart.

Now this did not go down very well with Mr Swan! His beak clamped around my chubby little fingers and bit me hard! Then the beast cruelly knocked me to the ground :( I don't remember crying - I was either trying to be brave or was too shaken up. I tried to escape the frenzied sociopath but to my terror I was surrounded. The murderous swan army chased me until my parents came to my rescue. (They were not being bad parents I had taken off and I was FAST!)

I swear all the swans I meet now KNOW the events of that tragic day. I'm very lucky to have not been pecked to death!!!! Every single time I am taking a walk by a lake and a swan or a SWARM of swans rock up I still freak out. They glare at me with evil eyes and swim stalk me alongside. Some I am convinced are plotting my murder as sweet revenge for their swan friend that I could have choked on my sticker.



The most vicious creatures in the UK are still free to attack unsuspecting humans. It is illegal to kill them in England as they belong to the Royal Family! I can't understand for the LIFE of me why the Queen would like them enough to spare their lives!!! I think she just hates me and wants me to live in fear forever.

I say swans MUST BE DESTROYED!! They will strike again. And next time it could be fatal. It could happen to someone you know, someone you love. You must suppress any urges to feed these savage succubuses. Don't dooooooooo it! They'll only throw it back in your face. I implore you for your own safety. Swans do not deserve your love or sympathy.

I don't actually want them all to be killed. I wouldn't really want any of God's creatures to die. I feel terrible if I only accidentally squish an ant. I just want their fierce and unmerciful nature to change. Yes, everyone thinks they are beautiful and graceful gliders on the water. DO NOT BE FOOLED! Now you know the truth.

Naughty no more

Rianney anney, it is not only a brand, sparkling new Year but a whole new decade!! :) :) The NAUGHTIES (Noughties) are officially over and behind you - the good, the bad and the ugly from those ten years are now just memories and lessons learned.

This is bittersweet for me. Lots of truly incredible things happened to me between 2000-2009. They were full of magic moments, meeting lots of new people, strengthening friendships, travelling to lands I love!!! But also full of disappointment, heartbreak, misery, anger and depression. I know that I made a lot of mistakes especially between 2007-2009 and hurt some people that I cared so much for. I can't take them back. How I wish there was a way to do that!!! Now I need to just move on (easier said than done, I am very aware of this) Time for a fresh start. New beginnings! :)

I want to be more positive this year and find true happiness. I don't want to be lonely any more. Even though I have lots of friends .. sometimes I don't feel like they are all GENUINE friends - lots are people who I know and spend time with but they don't know me inside and out. They don't have the faintest idea who the 'real' Rianne is. I am fortunate enough to have some of the most absolutely amazing friends and I would lay down my life for any one of them.

There are sooo many things I wish to do, millions of dreams I hope to achieve. The world is my oyster and I can't let anything stop me in the way of pursuing something I love.

Finding someone to love and a person who can love me in return is perhaps top of my list. It's not that I am desperate to get married despite many of my friends marrying, becoming engaged or at least have a boyfriend or girlfriend. I just don't want to be alone any more.

Next, I want to get into acting again. It was always my greatest ambition to become an actress. Not necessarily famous but successful. I would love, love, LOVE to be part of a cast of a TV show .. something family oriented like an English version of Neighbours. Something fun! :) Sooo, that means I need to work hard.

I have to begin working out. I have NEVER really made exercise a part of my life. I never made room for it as it wasn't something I particularly wanted to do or felt I even NEEDED to do. But that has changed completely. In 2009 when my stomach condition settled down and I stopped being sick I put on almost two stone in weight as my eating habits didn't change. The chocolate binging INCREASED dramatically if anything. To the point where I am wholly convinced I will bleed chocolate if I am cut :S I MUST now watch what I eat and stick with a balanced diet, cut down on the chocolate and naughty treats and start exercising so I can fit my clothes again. I can't afford a new wardrobe!!

I would like to thank those magnificent friends in my life. I am so lucky to know each of you! :) You make my world a prettier, crazier, shinier, and more chocolatey one :) I'm not sure why I have been so blessed to have you, but I must have done something a bit darn special in the pre-existance. I love you all to itty, bitty pieces. I hope that this decade will make all your wildest dreams a reality and that you will experience joy beyond measure :)

So long, farewell, Auf wiedersehn, goodbye 2009! Don't come back, you will NOT be missed. 2010 PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE be better!! I know that I can make this year the best and most wonderful one if I just let myself. So GO ON GIRL!!! Make it a beautiful one :) x x